How to move on after divorce

Divorce is at staggering rates in today’s society and unfortunately more and more families are going through this ordeal every year. Ending a marriage is never easy, especially when children are involved, but it is important for both partners to cope with the break up and move on, in order to be able to have healthy relationships further down the road. Even if you are the one ending the marriage or the one wanting it to end, such a disruption into your life can turn everything upside down and can cause a great deal of pain, although the relationship obviously wasn’t working any more. It’s essential to understand where the pain comes from, in order to have the capacity to deal with it properly. The more you understand what actually happened and what it is that causes the hurt, the better you will be able to cope and find those steps towards healing. As mentioned above, even if you are utterly aware of the fact that the marriage isn’t working, divorce still hurts. This is because separation represents not only the loss of the relationship, but the loss of everything that relationship stood for, such as shared dreams, ideas for the future, hopes and so on.

 One of the first things you can do to cope with divorce is be open to change. The inevitable truth is that divorce or even plain separation equals uncharted territory, as everything from daily routine to responsibilities and even outside contacts changes. So you need to have the power and ability to change as well. You also need to allow yourself to feel mixed feelings, regardless of how intense they may be, otherwise it will all gather up and push you down. One day, you may feel angry and frustrated, the next you may feel sad and confused. It’s all right, everything will settle down as time goes by and you get accustomed with not having a partner in your life. Give yourself a break for some time, before starting to grab life by its collar, in order to allow yourself to heal and to regroup. Don’t wallow indefinitely though, but take little steps at first.

 It helps to have someone backing you up, at least at the beginning. Not only will this allow you to share you feelings and feel supported, but it will also give to chance to rely on someone for different responsibilities, before you can take everything up on your own. You won’t gain anything by isolating yourself from the world, except increase stress levels and frustration or even anxiety. The one thing you need to constantly keep in mind is that the end goal is moving on, so, even though sharing your thoughts and feelings is good, over analyzing every situation and every little detail won’t get you anywhere.

 Apart from remaining open to communication with your family and friends and even trying to grow new friendships or connections, it is also advisable to spend time with yourself, take care of yourself more, invest in yourself more. It will make you feel better, more confident and it will help you adjust to the new status of being single. As long as you don’t forget or stray from the end goal, that of getting over the divorce and the ended relationship, sometimes it is up to you how you handle the situation and what course of action gives the best results.